Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
where are my eyebrows?
I'm always down for nudity.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
