You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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