apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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