Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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