sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
