I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
