Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
