what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it hurts more in the daytime
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
