arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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