she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
