Where is the hickey?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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