i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
