I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
