it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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