Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
