READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Randomize
