Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
