these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
