if i can run in heels then i can drive
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
