yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
