one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
