haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
