Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
All I want is dick and wine.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
