saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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