white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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