Do you still have your period?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize