I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
