I want to have your abortion
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My life is pants optional.
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