I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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