Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
