Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
