I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my being single is dangerous.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
