Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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