Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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