I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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