You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
