well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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