I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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