She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
