New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Found the puke drawer
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
