your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
