Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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