my phone needs a breathalizer
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
