I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
