don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
