blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
