You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
