How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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