her vagine was all disorganized.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize