The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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