Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
someone threw a dead crab at me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
